I've changed a lot. I used to only see the good in people, that's all I would look for, that's all I would acknowledge, that's all that mattered to me.
In the past 5 years, I've started to notice the bad. I've started to recognize the ugly.
I've started to see the negativity and hatred.
My eyes and my mind was once so young, immature, but happy.
It was a different kind of happy. -open minded but unexposed.
Today I am happy, but the transition from that happy to this happy, the exposure, the change, was even uglier than the ugly I can see in people today. The things that I went through can only prepare me for a life that's meant to get better.
I'm happy now, not the same happy that I used to feel (yet) but a mature happy. It was something wonderful about unknowing and misunderstanding the world and people, that's what drove me to figure them out, but now that I know, now that I see the contrast, I have the option to be happy, when happiness was just a default in the past. Not only can I see the contrast, but I also hear it all around me. Negativity goes in one ear, and what used to pass through effortlessly, now lingers in the back of my head constantly. It's loud and apparent.
Negative conversation didn't make sense to me before and that was The Silence in Black and White.
Now it all makes sense. The choice is not an easy one to make, but I've chosen to be happy. I am happy. I will be happy.
The world, it filters itself for you as a child. But as you mature and progress, you must learn to filter the world.
Change has brought progress and progress has brought change. I see your negative energy, but I will recognize and feed from the positive, not only for my own benefit, but yours. We're not growing up. We're still kids. We haven't forgotten. We're just being distracted.
If you're looking for yourself, sure you're hard to find. Step back for a second. You're looking too closely, attempting to define yourself with what you see, forgetting that what you are seeing is not within you but without. The world is not you, but you have let it be for some time now because someone, somewhere in your lifetime has told you that it's not okay to be you. They were wrong. You were right. Why did you stop believing in yourself? You were always right.